It’s very different from my gig teaching at PS 53 in the South Bronx. That is for sure. And as far as this goes, there are things that I love about it… and things that frustrate me.
Some welcome changes: When I work overtime, I get paid for it. The work is easy. My meals are free. I sit down all day, and even after putting in a 14 hour I don’t feel exhausted. My job never comes home with me. Nobody pees in their pants.
But there are also some differences that make it difficult for me to see any longevity in this kind of field. Namely – I’ve been having trouble finding meaning in the job. I’ve been working with my boss on understanding the overarching goals for each of the projects I’m working on… and while I understand the importance of offering our clients good services, and helping to increase and facilitate intradepartmental communication… at the end of the day I often wonder what good has been done. Have I helped anyone reach some sort of personal goal? No. Have I spent any time engaging in my own passions? No. Have I spent my time in a way that I’ll be able to look back on and think, “I gained something from that”? No. So what have I done? Have I done my bit to oil the gears of a corporate machine? Yes. Ford can now have more vanity numbers and discover can have most solid platforms to run their faxing systems through. But so what?
I don’t know. I’ve spent so much of my life feeling like I’ve been counting down the days until a better future, somewhere just over that horizon. It’s getting old… I’m not trying to complain, per se. This job isn’t bad. There are, as I’ve said, a ton of perks, and I like the people I work with a lot. But at the same time, I’m getting antsy to do something that I wake up looking forward to doing, not just something that pays the rent.
In any case, Adrianne sent this to me and I laughed harder than I have laughed for a while. Maybe you guys will find it amusing too:
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1 comment:
It's important to find meaning in how you "spend" your life. This is the challenge we all face. I am looking forward to watching you figure it out... :)
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